Contest for Skittery
by Quipster
Summary: A bunch of girls get together and consent to a contest to battle for the affections of a wayward Skittery.
1. Author's Note

Author's Note  
  
Okay, so finally finished this.are you proud? Yes, you should be.and if you like it you should thank Tunes for I finished it because of her.and if you don't like it than you should blame her.whahaha.yes I like how that works.  
  
Disclaimer: The Newsies don't belong to me at all.the girls in the story aren't mine except for Quipster.the story line is mine though.obviously.  
  
Warning: Rated R because of lots of talk about sex and explicit language. 


	2. Problem Presented

Quipster woke up to the familiar sound of fighting in the Lodging House. She groaned sleepily and rolled out of bed to see what the problem was this time. Unsurprisingly, Tunes and Spin were at it again.  
  
"What's goin' on heah?" Quipster questioned angrily, rubbing her eyes sleepily.  
  
"Dis bitch jest got in," Spin commented, furious.  
  
"What's youh point?" Quipster queried. "You don't always get in by curfew."  
  
"She was wid Skittery," Squibble explained.  
  
"Ohh..." Quipster mumbled in realization. She resisted exclaiming "Way to go Tunes!" but instead lectured, "You goils should know bettah den to wake people up foh youh personal problems. An' it's ridiculous ta fight ovah boys anyway."  
  
"No it isn't. I'm moah den willin' ta fight foh my man," Tunes pointed out. "He's wid me an' always will be."  
  
"Well, dis must be a new development 'cause he was wid me last night," Spin informed her, smuggly.  
  
"ARGH! BITCH!" Tunes yelled before slapping her.  
  
Spin returned her slap and soon they were in an all out cat fight.  
  
Quipster sighed and gave up. The Newsgirls Lodging House was never a quiet place and it's inhabitants had grown to accept that. Quipster hurried and dressed and prepared herself to sell papers. It was only just before she was going to leave that she noticed one girl was still in bed.  
  
Quipster hurried over and pushed the girl impatiently. "Hey, Hart, get up. C'mon youh gunna be late."  
  
Hart opened one eye before closing it abruptly. "I'm still tired."  
  
"No, seriously, it's really late. Everyone else is already ready," Quipster informed her, pulling off her light blanket. "'Sides youh missin' a good fight."  
  
"Anothah one?" Hart questioned, not at all surprised.  
  
"Yeah, evidently Spin an' Tunes both like Skittery," Quipster told Hart. Quipster then returned to her bunk to search for her suspenders which she had forgotten.  
  
"Wait...Skittery...from Duane Street Lodgin' House?" Hart inquired cautiously.  
  
"Yep dat's da one. I don't really get what da big deal is."  
  
"So....dey're both seein' him?" Hart interrogated.  
  
"Evidently. What's youh interest in it?" Quipster asked, her curiosity sparked by Hart's unusual reaction.  
  
"I'll soak him," Hart stated. "Wait, bettah yet I'll soak dem."  
  
"What? What're you talkin' about? Oh gawd not you too..." Quipster groaned and wondered if everyone in her Lodging House had gone nuts.  
  
Hart raced into the other room to join in the fight.  
  
Quipster sighed and figured she better find a way to stop the growing violence in her House. She ran into Jibajabba and Squibble in the hall. Glad to find two girls who weren't in love with Skittery she decided they would help her.  
  
"You guys, quick, tell me who you love," Quipster quizzed.  
  
They both looked oddly. Then Squibble grinned at her and emphatically stated, "Quipster!"  
  
Quipster rolled her eyes. "No, boy-wise...who do ya love??  
  
Jibajabba responsded cautiously (due to the randomness of the situation), "Well, I got a crush on Spot an' Squibble's got one on Davie."  
  
Quipster sighed in relief that the craziness had not reached them. "All right... You guys are gunna help me break up dis damn fight."  
  
"What's da point? If we drag 'em apart now den dey'll jest be back at it tomorrow night," Jibajabba pointed out.  
  
"I guess youh right...den you gotta help me come up wid a plan ta stop da fightin'," Quipster decided.  
  
"What kinda plan?" Squibble asked.  
  
"I dunno...a plan plan!" Quipster exclaimed.  
  
"Oh...thanks foh clearin' dat up..." Squibble mumbled sarcastically.  
  
"Well....da plan dat'll make dem stop. I dunno...we gotta make Skittery choose one goil!"  
  
"Well, make him choose now. He's right der," Jibajabba informed Quipster and Squibble, pointing through the window to where Skittery was standing on the street.  
  
"All right I will," Quipster agreed, running out the door to catch up with Skittery.  
  
"Skittery!" she yelled, so he wouldn't walk away.  
  
Skittery turned around and was surprised to find Quipster was the one calling his name. The two had never really talked before.  
  
"Yeah?" Skittery repsonded.  
  
"You gotta choose," Quipster stated.  
  
"Between what?" Skittery asked, confused.  
  
"Goils...you gotta choose a goil. Youh makin' da Lodgin' House a nightmare!!"  
  
"Oh...so did Princess find out 'bout Tappah? Look I was gunna tell dem..."  
  
Quipster looked horrified at how many girls in her house were dating Skittery. "YOU ARE SATAN!" she screamed at him.  
  
Skittery looked completely taken aback. "What?" he asked, not believing he had heard her correctly.  
  
"SATAN!" Quipster shouted again. "How many are der? In my Lodgin' House how many goils are you datin'? HONESTLY!"  
  
Skittery took a moment to think about it. "Well der's dat one and den...dat one night..." he mumbled to himself and started counting on his fingers. "Eight," he finally answered.  
  
Quipster stood there shocked for a moment before stepping closer and punching him across the face. "YOU HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES!"  
  
When Skittery's friends, Specs and Itey, saw this they ran over to find out what was going on. "What's goin' on?" Specs questioned.  
  
"Your friend is SATAN!" Quipster exclaimed.  
  
Specs shrugged. "Tell me somethin' I don't know."  
  
Quipster looked at him confused. "Huh?"  
  
"I'm jest jokin'. How come he's Satan?"  
  
"Do you KNOW how many girls he's datin'?"  
  
"Don't tell me youh lucky numbah nine," Itey commented. He and Quipster had been good friends for a long time and he thought he might lose all respect for her if she turned out to be a member of the Skittery Fan Club.  
  
"Hell no! I'se jest furious because SATAN is makin' things hell in me Lodgin' House 'cause all da goils are findin' out 'bout each othah."  
  
"I told dem ta keep it a secret," Skittery told her.  
  
"So dat makes dis all okay?" Quipster questioned.  
  
"No...it's jest..."  
  
"Yeah...shut up! Anyway dis is what we're gunna do. Foist youh gunna tell me da names a all youh little goilfriends and DEN youh gunna pick from dem an' let da othahs down nicely," Quipster decided.  
  
"Well da foist part is easy. Princess, Tapper, Delaney, Hart, Tunes, Act, Spin an' who was dat last one?"  
  
"You don't even remembah all of der names?"  
  
"Give me a second...it's...uhh.PISKY!" he answered, victoriously.  
  
"Nice job...anyway...pick."  
  
"I can't."  
  
"You WILL"  
  
"C'mon Skittery, now dat dey're findin' out 'bout each othah you should prolly tell," Specs agreed.  
  
"But...how should I choose?' Skittery asked.  
  
"You pick da one you like da most," Quipster advised.  
  
"I can't decide dat...dey're all great."  
  
"Den we will help you!" Itey decided.  
  
"How are we gunna help him?" Quipster inquired.  
  
"We'll hold a contest!" Itey declared.  
  
"A contest foh dem? Doesn't dat seem a little...I dunno...unfeelin' an' mean?" Quipster asked.  
  
"Nah, I like it," Specs informed them. "It'll jest make shoah all da goils get an equal chance. You can even pick what da contest'll be 'bout, Quip."  
  
"I like dis contest idea," Skittery commented, glad he wouldn't have to make the decision himself.  
  
Quipster seemed to waver for a moment. "Well...da goils gotta know 'bout da contest if we have it,"Quipster decided. "But if I get ta make da rules foh da contest and decide what dey do den I'm in."  
  
"Great, let's get ta plannin'," Specs said, ushering Quipster toward the Newsboys Lodging House on Duane Street.  
  
~~~*******~~~~  
  
Soon Itey, Specs, Skittery and Quipster were situated in the bunk room of the Newsboys Lodging House. Quipster had a pen and pad of paper in her lap that she had borrowed for Kloppmann.  
  
"So uh...what kinda contests?" Quipster questioned, looking at the blank piece of paper.  
  
"Well, we pick talents dat Skittery likes an' make contests ovah dem," Itey explained.  
  
"So whadja look foh in a goil Skitt?" Quipster asked him.  
  
"Dat she's easy." Specs mumbled loud enough for everyone to hear him.  
  
Skittery and Itey both started laughing. Quipster glared at them all. "We're bein' serious heah!"  
  
"Who says I wasn't?" Specs inquired.  
  
Quipster glanced at Skittery. "Is dat what you look foh in a goil?"  
  
"It's not da foist thing but it's definitely up der on da list," Skittery informed her.  
  
"Okaaay." Quipster consented, writing down "Needs to be: Easy" on her paper. "What else?"  
  
Skittery thought for a moment. "Well, she's gotta be pretty a course."  
  
Quipster narrowed her eyes. "I'm beginnin' ta like you less an' less. Is dat all you look foh? I pretty an' fast goil?"  
  
Skittery pondered this before nodding his head. "Yep, pretty much."  
  
"You are a bad, bad person!"  
  
"C'mon dat's what every guy is lookin' foh!"  
  
"Dat isn't true." Quipster stated, looking for Specs and Itey for support.  
  
"Uhh...actually..." Specs started.  
  
"I don't!" Itey informed her. "I look foh brains an' uh...personality an'...uh.stuff..."  
  
Skittery and Specs stared at him surprised. Itey maintained a serious face for a few more moments before bursting out laughing. "Who am I kiddin'?" Itey asked. "Me ideal goil is a someone pretty, not too annoyin' an' she'll lay me on me foist date."  
  
"Ugh...how am I friends wid you guys?" Quipster asked, exasperated. "Let's jest make dese contests. So, she's gotta be pretty?"  
  
Skittery nodded. "Also, she's gotta have attitude...ya know what I mean? Can't be all wishy-washy."  
  
"Allright. So fast, pretty an' not wishy washy. What kinda contest are we gunna have foh dis?"  
  
"Easy," Specs said. "We line 'em up an' Skitttery can look 'em ovah an' decide which is da prettiest. Den he can ask 'em questions 'bout how far dey'd go wid him an' der attitude an' stuff."  
  
"Isn't dis sorta jest like a beauty pageant?"  
  
"That's it!" Itey exclaimed. "Dat's what we'll have foh him. What else do we need in da pageant?"  
  
"Wait...I didn't agree ta a beauty pageant! Dey're demeanin' an'.bad," Quipster protested.  
  
"Do ya want peace in youh lodgin' house?" Specs queried.  
  
"Well...yeah...but..."  
  
"A beauty pageant it is den," Itey interrupted.  
  
"Shouldn't we have a talent part?" Skittery asked. "Even if it doesn't affect me decision it'll be fun ta watch."  
  
"Argh! Dis is not a good thing!" Quipster exclaimed.  
  
"Quipstah, get ovah it. We're doin' it. You can help or not," Specs told her.  
  
Quipster thought about it for awhile. "Well...okay. So who's gunna judge dis contest? Jest Skittery?"  
  
"I think dat we should get ta help," Itey decided.  
  
"I think so, too," Specs agreed.  
  
"Fine, den, I wanna be a judge too!" Quipster decided.  
  
"But...you can't! Youh a goil!" Skittery argued.  
  
"Nice obsahvation!" Quipster commented sarcastically. "What does dat mattah?"  
  
"No goils allowed," Skittery stated. "Only male judges. What if you jest run it?"  
  
"But...I wanna judge," Quipster complained.  
  
"It wouldn't be fair 'cause you're friends wid dem," Itey pointed out.  
  
"Oh...Fine, I'll run it," Quipster agreed, appeased. "Let's finish up plannin' so we can tell da goils latah tanight."  
  
~~~~~****~~~~  
  
----Later that Night----  
  
"Hey, goils, c'mere foh a minute," Quipster yelled out in the lobby, standing on a chair.  
  
The girls all gathered around quickly, curious to hear what the announcement from their leader could be.  
  
"Now, goils, it's come ta me attention dat a large numbah a you are in love or have some sorta relationship wid Skittery."  
  
Many of the girls in the crowd blushed or averted their eyes to the floor.  
  
"It's also come ta me attention dat you all datin' da same guy has caused a lotta problems an' severely affected me sleep. So, I had a talk wid out dear Skittery an' he has agreed dat it's time dat he picked one goil."  
  
There were many alarmed looks in the crowd due to this announcement.  
  
"But," Quipster continued, "he didn't know how ta pick one so he's decided ta have a contest a sorts ta figuah out which goil he wants ta date ta make shoah he makes da right choice. Now, I know a lotta you may find dis demaanin' an' if you don't want ta be in it den I will undahstand."  
  
Quipster was interrupted by Pisky. "What kinda contest? When does it start?"  
  
Quipster looked around and found that instead of the disgusted expressions she had expected to hear at this announcement everyone actually looked excited by the idea.  
  
"Wait...youh all okay wid dis?" Quipster questioned.  
  
"Yeah, shoah, why wouldn't we be?" Princess asked. "Do we gotta skip sellin' tamarrow ta do it?"  
  
"What do we gotta do?" Delaney queried.  
  
"Umm...well...all da goils dat dated Skittery are gunna hafta skip sellin' tamorrow 'cause da contest'll take all day. An' I guess ya jest gotta parade 'round in youh nicest clothes, den answer some questions an' ya gotta do some kinda talent dat you think Skitt'll like."  
  
"Dat don't sound too hard," Tapper commented.  
  
"Okay...den, I'll tell Skittery everyone is okay wid it an' let you guys start ta get prepared," Quipster decided, still looking astonished the girls would sink to such lows to capture the attention of Skittery.  
  
The girls all hurried off to begin preparations for the contest. The girls that weren't interested in Skittery were dragged off by their friends to help them.  
  
~~~~*****~~~~  
  
"So whad dey say?" Skittery asked, as Quipster exited the lodging house.  
  
"Dey're all excited," Quipster informed him, disgusted.  
  
"YES! Dis is gunna be great!" Skittery exclaimed.  
  
"Dis depresses me thoroughly," Quipster commented.  
  
Skittery laughed, mistaking Quipster for joking. "Well, I'll see ya tamorrow, Quip. Dis was a great idea."  
  
"WAIT! Dis was NOT my idea," Quipster protested.  
  
"Aww...don't be modest. If you hadn't told me ta pick den none a dis woulda happened. I'll see ya latah. Bye! An' thanks!" Skittery told her, before running off in the direction of his own lodging house.  
  
Quipster sighed. "What have I gotten meself into?" she asked herself before walking back into her lodging house, dreading the coming morning. 


	3. Contest Prep

Quipster drug herself into the Newsboys Lodging House on Duane Street before the sun rose. She was supposed to get there early to help the boys set up for their contest.  
  
"Aftah taday it'll all be ovah," she reminded herself.  
  
"Hi Quipstah!" Skittery chirped cheerfully.  
  
"Why're you so fuckin' happy?" Quipster growled, flopping into an armchair in the lobby.  
  
Skittery shrugged. "Why not?"  
  
"Because it's fouh o'clock in da fuckin' mornin! It jest isn't natural ta be happy wakin' up dis early."  
  
"I didn't wake up. I haven't gone ta bed yet," Skittery disclosed.  
  
"What? Don't tell me youh DAT excited 'bout dis damn contest!"  
  
"Well, I was excited, but not 'bout da contest," Skittery revealed, grinning like a fool.  
  
"Moah like a contestant, eh, Skitt?" Specs asked, entering the room with Itey snickering beside him.  
  
"What?! You screwed a goil last night?!" Quipster questioned, astounded. "What goil would lay you when she knows you were cheatin' on all dose goils!?"  
  
"Hart didn't seem ta mind," Skittery confided, smiling smugly.  
  
"I will nevah evah undahstand all dis. Let's jest get stahted so we're ready, all right?" Quipster decided.  
  
"Yep, so, wheah do we staht?" Itey queried.  
  
"Um, well, you boys staht movin' chairs ta make room foh a stage an' audience an' everythin," Quipster directed.  
  
"What're you gunna do?" Specs inquired.  
  
"Supervise," Quipster stated as if obvious.  
  
When all the boys glared at her she added, "I'll write down da questions Skitts is gunna ask."  
  
"Don't strain youhself," Specs muttered.  
  
Quipster flashed him smile. "I won't."  
  
The boys all got to work arranging chairs to Quipster's liking. Quipster remained sitting in her chair happily.  
  
"All right, so, what kinda questions do you wanna ask?" Quipster interrogated, pen and paper in hand.  
  
Skittery thought about it for a moment as he continued moving everything around. "Well, I guess I gotta ask 'bout...uh..."  
  
"Dey're personality?" Quipster prompted just as Itey suggested, "How fast dey'll jump inta bed!"  
  
Itey looked at Quipster like she was incompetent while Quipster glared at Itey.  
  
"Both are good," Skittery decided. "Let's tell dem ta describe dey're personality in let's say...two words."  
  
"Two words? You can't describe youh dog in two woids!" Quipster protested. "Seven."  
  
"Fine, five," Skittery compromised. "An' I'll jest ask dem how far dey'll go on a date wid me."  
  
"What kinda question is dat?" Specs questioned. "What does it mattah if dey goes ta Africa or Brooklyn wid ya when ya don't got da money ta take dem anywheah?"  
  
Quipster hit him upside the head. "He's talkin' 'bout sex, smart ass."  
  
Specs glared at her. "Yoh shoah are mean in da mornin!"  
  
"Whadja expect? I didn't get any sleep last night!"  
  
"All da othah goils bein' loud gettin' ready foh taday?" Itey asked.  
  
"Well, I'm shoah dey were loud...don't so much know..." Quipster revealed, smirking.  
  
"What? Why not?" Specs questioned.  
  
"I wasn't der...took a long walk ta Brooklyn aftah you guys left," she enlightened.  
  
"Dat's nuts! You went all da way ta Brooklyn ta avoid dem? Why wouldja go to Brooklyn?" Specks continued to inquire.  
  
Quipster smirk grew to a grin, but she remained silent.  
  
Itey laughed. "Spot.Shoulda thought a dat in da beginnin'."  
  
Specs and Skittery looked somewhat surprised since she had been criticizing Skittery for sleeping around. Then they shrugged figuring it was just another double standard for men and women.  
  
Quipster sighed and commented, "I know what youh thinkin' an' dis is not a double standahd foh men an' women. I was mad at Skittery foh sleepin' 'round an' lettin' da goils think dey were da only ones he was screwin'. I am perfectly open wid da guys I associate meself wid."  
  
Specs, ignoring most of Quipster's comment, asked, "Hey how'd you know dat we thought ya had a double standahd?"  
  
Quipster smirked. "People should realize by now dat I know everythin'!"  
  
"If you know everythin' den what else am I gunna ask in dis contest?" Skittery wondered.  
  
"Ya really wanna know?" Quipster checked.  
  
Skittery nodded, already laughing to himself about what type of girlish questions she would want to ask.  
  
"Heah," Quipster stated, handing him the piece of paper she had been writing on. On it was a list of questions.  
  
Skittery perused them before commenting, "Hey, dese are good!" He sounded very surprised.  
  
"Thanks. So, is dat what youh gunna ask, den?" Quipster inquired.  
  
"Sounds good ta me. Whad do you boys think?" Skittery questions Itey and Specs, who then reviewed the questions.  
  
"Sounds good at me," Itey agreed.  
  
"Yeah, sounds 'bout right," Specs consented.  
  
"Good, now dat we got dat finished, lets hurry an' get dis room set up," Quipster declared.  
  
The boys nodded in agreement before all four got to work, finishing the set up of the room for the contest.  
  
~~~~~~ An Hour and a Half Later ~~~~~~  
  
Most of the contestants had arrived by then and the contestants had arrived, except for one girl. As soon as Spin, who was AWOL, arrived they could begin. All four were surprised by the unexpected crowd was gathering in the Lodging House. Newsies from all over New York City had heard of the contest and didn't want to miss it.  
  
"Well, we can get stahted as soon as Spin gets heah," Quipster informed Skittery, Specs and Itey.  
  
"How're da othah goils doin'?" Skittery questioned.  
  
Quipster shrugged. "I dunno. Dey're all up in da washroom gettin' ready I guess."  
  
"Ya left seven goils dat're all aftah da same guy alone in a confined space?" Itey queried disbelievingly.  
  
Quipster started nodding until she realized his point. "SHIT! I'll uhh...be right back," Quipster imparted to them before sprinting up the stairs and into the washroom.  
  
Quipster was pleasantly surprised when she was met with a happy, peaceful scene full of girls trying to get their clothes to fit better and putting finishing touches on their hair and makeup.  
  
Quipster let out a sigh of relief.  
  
"What's wrong wid you?" Act probed, noticing the sigh.  
  
"Nothin'...well ta tell da turth I was a little worried dat you goils might staht fights up heah. Ya know,,.get da othahs outta da way." Quipster confided.  
  
"Hey! Good idea!" Delaney yelled, running toward Princess and pulled a ribbon out of her long hair.  
  
"NO! It wasn't to give ya ideas!!" Quipster protested.  
  
Within seconds all seven girls were included in the fight.  
  
"STOP! STOP IT!" Quipster screamed, not knowing what to do.  
  
All of the sudden music turned on from someplace in the room and in beat to it Brooklyn boys started popping up around the washroom.  
  
"Nevah feah, Brooklyn's heah!" Spot, the leader of Brooklyn, stated proudly.  
  
This proclamation was met with girlish shrieks and screams as the girls that weren't completely dressed scrambled for clothing.  
  
Quipster looked highly amused now. "Spot how long have you been in heah?"  
  
Spot eyes glinted mischievously. "We'se all been in heah foh 'bout an hour."  
  
This comment obtained more screams and a couple death threats from some of the girls.  
  
Quipster shook her head, trying to stifle her laughter. "You are a bad, bad person!"  
  
Spot grinned and nodded in agreement.  
  
"Wheah da hell is dat music comin' from?!" Quipster questioned, sidetracked as she looked around the room.  
  
Spot smiled sheepishly. "Cut it boys!" he ordered. The music stopped abruptly as one of his boys turned off the record. "Youh not supposed ta notice it, Quip. It's jest supposed ta add ta da affect."  
  
Quipster looked at him oddly. "Allll right den. Maybe you an' youh boys should wait wid everyone else?" she suggested, indicating the fully clothed contestants that were looking angrier by the moment.  
  
"Uh.good idea," Spot agreed, ushering his boys out of the room and down to the alley.  
  
Just as Spot was leaving Spin ran in hurriedly. They gave each other cold glares before continuing on their ways.  
  
"I'm really sorry everyone I had ta make some last minute arrangements foh me dress," Spin told them. "I'll be changed in a jiffy."  
  
"Hurry up," Quipster recommended. "I'm gunna go tell da boys dat Spin is heah. No fights up heah or I'll getcha disqualified an' I mean it."  
  
The girls all nodded, looking slightly disappointed.  
  
~~~~~~5 Minutes Later ~~~~~~  
  
"All right lets get dis contest stahted," Quipster told the crowd. "We're gunna staht wid questions an' den do talent. Soo we'se jest gunna bring out da goils one by one an' I'll intraduce dem an' den Skitt'll ask da questions, all right? Wait...what am I askin' you guys foh? I don't even undah stand why youh heah."  
  
"Ta see da goils make fools a demselves ovah Skitt," Swifty explained to her from his seat in the crowd.  
  
"Okaaay...well anyway da foist goil is..." 


	4. Questioning Portion

Quipster paused to look up at the stairs and see who was there. "Princess! C'mon down!"  
  
Princess, a girl who stood about five foot four with shiny dark blond hair and greenish blue eyes, walked down the stairs gracefully with a long dark blue dress rustling as she walked. She went and stood next to Quipster.  
  
"Uh...okay....introduction. Dis is Princess. Nice intro, huh? Thought so...Anyway Skitt go head," Quipster told him.  
  
Skittery walked up on the stage with the piece of paper Quipster had written the questions on. "All right, heah we go. Foist question, What would your ideal date with me be?"  
  
Princess appeared to be thinking about it for a moment. Then she said, "Well, dinner an' a movie is all very good, but overdone. I say we go ta my place, mix up a cake, and while it bakes, I whip youh ass at cards. Den we feed each othah handfuls before having hot monkey sex on a bearskin rug. And I am NOT just saying that last part so you'll pick me!" Princess then smiled, batting her eyes at Skittery. Finally she couldn't hold it in any longer and burst out laughing.  
  
"I would take dat laughtah as her sayin' dat last part jest so you would pick her," Quipster put in.  
  
Skittery shrugged. "Next question. How far would you go with me on this date?"  
  
"Well I was thinking in front of a crackling fireplace, but if you want to just drop and do it as soon as we enter the room, that's okay too."  
  
Quipster cleared her throat. "He means how far would you go wid him like kissin' or sex or whatevah," she explained quietly.  
  
Realization dawned on Princess's face. "Oh! Yeah, I knew that's what you meant!" Princess assured them. Then, putting on an obviously fake sultry voice she added, "Anywhere you wanted to go and beyond, baby." She couldn't continue the charade though because she cracked up again. Trying to get herself under control she said, "Sorry! I am taking these questions seriously, I really am!" before bursting out into laughter again.  
  
"Hey, remembah ta breath," Quipster commented, noticing how hard she was laughing.  
  
"I'm...okay," Princess assured them, taking a deep breath. "Please continue."  
  
Skittery looked unsure but decided to continue. "Okay, den, would you want a monogamous relationship?"  
  
Princess seemed to ponder this question before answering bluntly. "I want an equal relationship. Which means if you're up for monogamy, so am I, but if you're boinking every girl on the block, don't come crying if you catch me with another guy."  
  
"Hey! Good answah!" Quipster approved.  
  
Princess smiled. "Thanks!"  
  
"If only I were a judge," Quipster said, sadly.  
  
"Aww...dey wouldn't let you be a judge?" Princess asked, sympathetically.  
  
"No, because SOME PEOPLE are mean an' all 'a goil can't help she can jest run it'. Psh so dumb!"  
  
"I agree I think dat..." Princess started  
  
"Anyway," Skittery continued, "next question..."  
  
Quipster and Princess looked at each other and started laughing. "Oh yeah...contest..." Quipster remembered.  
  
"Sorry, go on," Princess told Skittery.  
  
"If I made you really angry what would you do?" Skittery asked.  
  
"Probably hurl some really wounding insults at you before turning it into a total screech- fest and sobbing hysterically, until you want to kiss and make up, when all will be forgotten, if not forgiven."  
  
"Ya know, I've found dat if ya jest threaten him wid kneeing..." Quipster started.  
  
"Do ya wanna be thrown outta the contest completely?" Skittery threatened, aggravated by the constant interruptions.  
  
"YOUH MEAN...but continue," Quipster decided.  
  
"All right, next question. Please explain youh personality in five words or less," Skittery told her.  
  
"More than you can handle. Rowrrr. Oops, does that count as six?" Princess inquired, giggling.  
  
"It's okay 'cause der were supposed ta be seven but I was outnumbered," Quipster assured her.  
  
"QUIPSTAH! Can ya please let us jest finish dis so it doesn't take all day?" Skittery questioned.  
  
Quipster looked saddened. "All right, all right. I'll be quiet...er," she promised.  
  
Skittery, appeased, continued his questioning. "Why, if for any reason, would you break up with me?"  
  
Princess thought for a moment before answering in an offhand tone, "Mmm... If you humiliated or belittled me beyond all repair." Then, getting a mischievous look she added, "Or if you lost that tight ass." Then, surprisingly, she just let go and smacked his backside. "Can I smack it?" she questioned Quipster.  
  
Quipster shrugged. "I guess."  
  
"I'm having too much fun with this!" Princess declared, laughing.  
  
Skittery looked to be between shocked and turned on that she had slapped his ass. "Well, dat's all da questions we got."  
  
Princess looked somewhat disappointed.  
  
"Soo, next contestant," Quipster decided, pointing to near the stage that Princess could sit in. "Here comes...Pisky!"  
  
Pisky began to descend the stairs at her introduction. She had blonde hair that was pinned up into a fashionable hair style and sparkling blue eyes, a typical beauty. Her short body, that was only about five feet and four inches tall, was covered in a dark violet dress that brought out the blue in her eyes even more.  
  
"So...uh.Pisky, Skittery is gunna ask some questions an' you ans..." Quipster started.  
  
"Um...Quipstah, we all heard. We were only upstaihs," Pisky revealed.  
  
"Oh." Quipster shrugged. "Can ya jest pretend dat ya didn't so I can humor meself inta thinkin' dat I actually have a purpose heah?"  
  
Pisky giggled. "Sorry, continue."  
  
"So, Skitts is gunna ask six questions an' ya jest hafta answah dem an' den go sit by Princess. We have already determined that it is okay to slap Skittery's ass."  
  
"Hey! What?" Skittery asked.  
  
"Do you have objections to girls touching youh ass?" Quipster questioned.  
  
"Well...it does make me feel a little used an' degraded," Skittery confided.  
  
"Well get da fuck ovah it," Quipster stated. "Youh holdin' a fuckin' beauty pageant."  
  
"Ya know, from now on we're makin' a rule dat you gotta have 8 hours a sleep a night befoah havin' any human contact," Skittery mumbled.  
  
Quipster laughed. "Jest ask youh questions."  
  
"Fine," Skittery agreed. "Pisky, what would youh ideal date wid me be?"  
  
Pisky smiled mischievously before answering. "An ideal date wid you would consist of us bein' alone at da Lodgin' House or some othah place dat has a bed." She threw a wink at him before continuing, "an' doin' whatevah youh little heart desires!"  
  
Skittery grinned, probably thinking of the possibilities that this answer entailed. "Well, how far would you go wid me on dis date?"  
  
Pisky smirked. "Did I mention dat our date would HAFTA have a bed? Use youh imagination," she suggested.  
  
"Well, wouldja want a monogamous relationship?" he asked, speaking the word monogamous as if something horrible.  
  
"Well...it's always good ta have one. I know dat I wouldn't be screwing...wait can I say dat?" she asked Quipster.  
  
Quipster shrugged. "Shoah.screwin', fuckin', layin', boinkin'...anythin' goes..."  
  
Pisky nodded. "I know dat I wouldn't be scrwein' any othah guys. I don't know what you'll be doin' when I'm not 'round so what I don't know can't hurt me!"  
  
"Infamous last words," Quipster muttered.  
  
"What?" Pisky questioned.  
  
Quipster smiled at her. "Nothin'.nothin' at all...of course I wasn't implyin' dat Skittery would most definitely cheat on you since he's done it befoah an' den you'd find out an' it'd piss you off beyond all belief an' you'd staht a fight wid da whore he cheated on you wid an' possibly ruin youh life all because of Skittery who ain't dat great of a catch to begin wid," she explained rapidly so that it was almost impossible to understand her.  
  
"Huh?" Pisky and Skittery both asked at the same time.  
  
"Nothin'...I said next question," Quipster stated, rolling her eyes.  
  
Skittery looked unsure for a moment but continued with his questioning. "If I made ya really angry what wouldja do?"  
  
Pisky giggled. "I would hafta teach ya a 'lesson' foh bein' a 'bad boy'.if ya catch me drift," she told him, smiling suggestively.  
  
Skittery looked a little flustered, not expecting this response. "Yeah I getcha...you could teach me dat lesson right now if ya..."  
  
Quipster cleared her throat. "Skittery...questions..." she reminded him.  
  
Skittery looked disappointed. "Fine, fine. Uhh...explain youh personality in five words or less."  
  
"Well, flirty, wid only you of cohse. Fun, in moah ways den one, an' carin'. I would ten ta any kinda 'boo-boos' or 'sicknesses' dat you have."  
  
Quipster repeated Pisky's answer to her self slowly counting the words on her fingers.  
  
Skittery, not noticing this, continued with the questions. "Why if foh any reason..."  
  
"Twenty eight!" Quipster exclaimed.  
  
"What?" Skittery questioned, perturbed by the interruption.  
  
"She used twenty-eight words!" Quipster explained.  
  
"No...she was explainin' da words dat she picked. She only used three," Skittery informed Quipster.  
  
"Nu uh! She used twenty eight. I mean, six are excusable...but twenty eight?!"  
  
"Can I jest continue?" Skittery requested, glaring.  
  
"Fine, fine, let her use twenty eight," Quipster gave in.  
  
"So, as I was sayin' befoah I was so RUDELY interrupted foh like da twentieth time taday, why, if foh any reason, would you break up wid me?"  
  
Pisky thought about this. "Da only reason I might evah break up wid you is if I was one hundred percent shoah dat you were gunna break up wid me. But I doubt dat I would evah break up wid you even foh dat reason."  
  
"So.basically youh not gunna break up wid him?" Quipster summarized.  
  
Pisky laughed and smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, basically I won't break up wid him."  
  
Skittery nodded. "All right, dat's it."  
  
Quipster pointed to where Princess was sitting. "You can go right ovah der."  
  
Pisky nodded and went and sat next to Princess.  
  
"All right, next we have...uhh...hang on," Quipster told the crowd when she saw Tapper motioning her to come upstairs. "We're gunna have a shoht break I guess so I'll be right back."  
  
"What's goin' on?" Specs asked, as Quipster walked past him on the way to the stairs.  
  
Quipster shrugged. "Beats me."  
  
She hurried up the stairs. "What's goin' on?" she asked Tapper.  
  
"Dat is goin' on," Tapped explained, pointing to Tunes and Spin that were angrily yelling at each other. It took Quipster only moments to discover what the problem was. Spin and Tunes were wearing identical red dresses. The tight fitting bodices, short sleeves, long flowing skirts and wine colored fabric were exact replicas of each other.  
  
"So, can't one of you change?" Quipster wondered.  
  
"Dis is da only dress I have wid me!" Spin complained.  
  
Quipster sighed. "Look, I don't know what you expect me ta do."  
  
Tunes rolled her eyes exasperated. "Fine, if she won't change I'll do somethin' ta fix it." Tunes pulled up her skirt to reveal a knife that was in a sheath attached by a leather strap to her thigh.  
  
"I don't think dat violence is da answah," Quipster pacified, scared at what was going to happen to Spin.  
  
Tunes gave Quipster an odd look. "Dis isn't foh Spin it's foh me," she informed her.  
  
Quipster looked worried. "WHAT?!"  
  
Tunes looked at Quipster like she was an idiot. "Foh me dress, Quip!"  
  
"Ohh.okay..." Quipster let out a sigh of relief as Tunes began slicing at her dress with the knife.  
  
Tunes cut of the short sleeves, leaving only straps on her shoulders. Then she went to work on the neckline, cutting it to be much more revealing and made the straps fall to the side so they were off the shoulder. Her last act was to cut up the front of the skirt, making it come up past her knees in the front and then recede into a long skirt. (Quipsters note: Think like Medda's dress in the movie.I was thinking a complete like mini skirt might be a little odd.)  
  
All the girls were amazed by the transformation. The dresses looked very different now. Quipster looked at Tunes dress and rolled her eyes coughing out a "whore" before she walked back downstairs shaking her head. She was slightly disappointed at the lengths these girls would go to, to catch Skittery's attention.  
  
Quipster walked back onto the 'stage'. "All right, sorry, little mix up upstaihs. Anyway, movin' on.next we have...uhh.Act!"  
  
Act started down the stairs when she heard her name called. Act looked stunning in a green dress that accentuated her bright green eyes making her look even more Irish. She was about 5'3, had auburn hair and pale skin with freckles sprinkled across her face.  
  
"Okay....questions..." Quipster stated, sounding bored. She pulled a chair onto the stage for herself.  
  
"What would your ideal date wid me be?" Skittery inquired.  
  
Act didn't even have to pause to think since she had already heard the questions. "It doesn't have ta be fancy, just a nice walk in da park at sunset an' den a moonlit picnic dinnah."  
  
Quipster looked shocked. "What's dis? One a da goils isn't a whore?"  
  
Skittery glared at her but continued the questions. "How far would ya go wid me in dis date?" he questioned.  
  
"If da date was goin' well I'd prolly go all da way!" Act responded.  
  
Quipster sighed and lost her shocked expression. "Lemme take dat back. Youh jest like dat rest."  
  
Act looked proud of this.  
  
Skittery rolled his eyes. "Dey aren't all whores...jest most a dem...anyway, Act, wouldja want a monogamous relationship?"  
  
Act nodded. "I think dat if we were sleepin' tageddah I would want a monogamous relationship, but it also depends on how much we would agree ta commit ta each othah."  
  
"Hmm...not completely whorish...dat's nice," Quipster commented off handedly.  
  
"Do ya mind?" Skittery questioned. "If I made ya really angry what would you do?"  
  
"I'd prolly yell at you or let you know I was angry an' den I'd need some time alone ta get ovah it."  
  
"Fair enough," Skittery consented. "Couldja explain youh personality in five words or less?"  
  
Act counted off on her fingers as she listed, "Funny, carin', sweet, sarcastic an' outgoin'."  
  
"Ladies an' gentlemen give dis goil a round of appluase she can actually count unlike Miss Six Woids an' Miss Twenty Eight ovah der," Quipster announced.  
  
The people in the audience tittered a little and gave Act applause.  
  
"Nice job, hun," Quipster told her.  
  
Skittery, giving up chastising Quipster for her annoying interruptions for the moment just continued. "Why, if foh any reason, would you break up wid me?"  
  
"Da only reason would prolly be if I decided I didn't like ya anymoah," Act decided.  
  
"What's dis? Someone admits dat he isn't perfect? Dis goils should be giving a prize...realism an' she can count. Anyway, go have a seat ovah der," Quipster stated in a monotone voice. "Next is...uh...dat goil standin' up der dat I can only see her arm."  
  
Everyone looked at Quipster oddly.  
  
"Well, I could get up an' check but da goil undahstood," Quipster explained, defending her laziness. "See here she comes...oh look it's Tunes!"  
  
Tunes walked down the stairs trying not to laugh at the reactions from the crowd over her dress. Many murmurs were heard, especially from the male members of the audience. Tunes was about average height, five foot six inches. Her red hair was worn down messily but it still looked nice. Her dark green eyes sparkled mischievously and she wore a wide grin.  
  
"Holy shit," Skittery mumbled quietly, looking her up and down.  
  
"Leave it ta Tunes ta wear da sluttiest clothes heah," Quipster said under her breath.  
  
"So, dis is Tunes," Quipster introduced.  
  
Skittery looked very flustered after seeing Tunes's dress.  
  
Quipster rolled her eyes and kicked Skittery with her foot that was hanging off the side of the chair. "Hey, how 'bout you say youh questions. Who's da one wastin' time now?"  
  
Tunes couldn't help but looking proud of herself, getting the exact reaction she had expected.  
  
Skittery snapped out of it. "Yeah, questions, all right. What would youh ideal date wid me be?" he asked.  
  
"Well...I suppose we could go out and see a show or something but I'd like it if we skipped right to the sex," Tunes stated bluntly.  
  
Skittery looked a little shocked. "Umm...okay...so how far would you go with me on dis date?"  
  
Tunes rose her eyebrows. "I jest told ya. Lotsa sex."  
  
Skittery started to ask the other question before realizing something was missing. Then, realizing what it was he turned to Quipster. "Hey, Quip, aren'tcha gunna make any a youh annoyin' comments 'bout her bein' a whore?" he asked.  
  
Quipster shook her head. "Nah...not foh Tunes. Foist, she has too much shit on me an' second she an' I run da house tageddah da othah goils are jest lodgers."  
  
Skittery shook his head. "Not dat I miss dem I was jest wonderin'."  
  
"If ya want I can make fun of you some moah," Quipster offered with a smile.  
  
"I'll pass but thanks. Anyway, Tunes, would you want a monogamous relationship?"  
  
Tunes shrugged. "Maybe after a little while, but, I think if we both wanted to see other people while still seeing each other steadily, I wouldn't have a problem, as long as we don't go into detail about it with one another."  
  
"Okay...If I made you really angry what would you do?"  
  
"Hmm...Probably stay away from you for a few days or how ever long it takes me to cool down, because I wouldn't want to start a stupid argument where we sayin thinks we'd regret later, then after I cooled down, I'd talk to you about it, calmly, then we'd have make-up sex for hours."  
  
"Damn," Skittery commented. "Maybe I'd hafta make ya mad on purpose."  
  
"What if we jest pretended you made me mad and skipped straight to the make- up sex?" Tunes suggested.  
  
"Hey! No fraternizing wid da contestants 'til aftah you pick!" Quipster exclaimed.  
  
"Fine, fine. Explain youh personality in five words or less."  
  
"Outgoin', adventurous, crazy, fun, uninhibited." Tunes stated.  
  
Skittery looked curious. "Uninhibited how?"  
  
"In every way, Skitts. I'm a bit of a exhibitionist." Tunes told him.  
  
"So wheah would we do it if..."  
  
"No adding questions! NO ONE WANTS TO HEAH DAT!" Quipster protested.  
  
"Hey! I do!" Itey yelled out, along with a few other audience members.  
  
"Well, I don't so get ovah it," Quipster decided.  
  
Skittery sighed. "We'll continue dat convahsation latah," he promised Tunes. "So, why, if foh any reason, wouldja break up wid me?"  
  
"Well, I can't think of a reason why I would break up with you, only if you did something really awful to me that I couldn't forgive you for, not cheating or something small and petty, because our relationship probably wouldn't be monogamous right away anyway."  
  
"All right, go sit down," Quipster ordered. "Next goil come down."  
  
"Which one?" came a reply from upstairs.  
  
"Uhh...whoevah jest said dat can come down," she responded.  
  
There was a sudden eruption of giggles upstairs before someone began to walk down the stairs. The back of the room soon began laughing too. Quipster and the others in the front of the room soon realized why when she noticed that the person coming down was wearing pants.  
  
"What da hell? All da goils were wearin' dresses," Quipster said before seeing the shirt. "Spot! What da hell are you doin'?!"  
  
Spot grinned widely. "Well, you said foh whoevah said dat ta come down."  
  
"What're you doin' up der anyway?" Quipster queried.  
  
Spot smirked. "I was..uhh.apologizin'? An' makin' out...I mean up! Makin' up wid da goils!"  
  
Quipster burst out laughing. "Shoah dat's whatcha meant.jest go back up an' send down an' actual goil," Quipster requested.  
  
Spot nodded. "Shoah thing."  
  
Soon Spin was walking down the stairs, looking very angry. "I'm happy ta get away from you too!"  
  
Quipster assumed she was yelling at Spot. It was very common for the two of them to have sibling squabbles.  
  
"Allright, so, dis is Spin," Quipster introduced. Spin walked down her bright blue eyes squinted into a glare. Her brown hair that was usually in a cap, was swept into an up-do. She looked astonishingly like her brother Spot. except for that whole girl thing. Her red dress was slightly disheveled, no doubt from a fight with Spot.  
  
"Kay, go head question boy," Quipster allowed, once Spin had come to stand by Skittery.  
  
Skittery glared at being called 'question boy' but did go on to ask his first question. "What would youh ideal date wid me be?"  
  
Spin thought about it. She hadn't had a chance to listen to the questions because she had been fighting or yelling at Spot for most of the time. "Well, I'se gotta say dat spendin' da night on da beach would be fun," she told him, giggling.  
  
"An' I don't think she's talkin' 'bout swimmin'," Quipster added, to make sure everyone caught on to the meaning of the statement.  
  
Skittery sighed. "Back ta da comments, huh?"  
  
Quispter nodded. "But of course, Skittsy!"  
  
"Skittsy?" Skittery repeated, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Well if you prefer question boy dat's okay wid me...or maybe you like Satan?" Quipster inquired.  
  
"How 'bout jest Skittery?" he suggested.  
  
"Boring," Quipster decided.  
  
"Fine, whatevah , Spin, how far would you go wid me on dis date?"  
  
"Anythin' I guess...none a dat kinky stuff doh," Spin told him.  
  
"Spendin' da night on da beach fuckin' infronta random passer-byers is allowed but nothin' kinky dat Skittery wants to do...unfair," Quipster protested on Skittery's behalf.  
  
Skittery laughed. "Would you want a monogamous relationship?"  
  
Spin nodded vigorously. "Unless you would think dat is slutty a me."  
  
Quipster burst out laughing. "Sleepin' on da beech tageddah isn't slutty but wantin' a monogamous relationship is? Hun, monogamous means dat you only see each oddah...maybe you mean polygamous or...uh..open or somethin'."  
  
Spin thought about it for a while. "Maybe dat's it."  
  
Skittery shook his head trying not to laugh. "If I made you really angry what would you do?" he interrogated.  
  
"I prolly wouldn't speak ta you'se foh awhile...but it prolly wouldn't last long. I can't go foh long periods a time wid not talkin ta you'se," she told him, smiling and batting her eye lashes.  
  
"Talkin' isn't what he wants doh," Quipster mumbled.  
  
"Well, I can't go foh long periods a time wid not doin' dose othah things too," Spin added.  
  
Skittery smirked. "Can ya explain youh personality in five words or less?"  
  
Spin thought about it for a moment before getting a slightly panicked look on her face. "I don't know...lemme think."  
  
"Five words! She already used her five words," Quipster exclaimed.  
  
Skittery glared. "Stop bein' a bitch."  
  
"Psh..I'm not a bitch. I'll even help her out. She's sarcastic, funny, protective, whorish and confrontational...'bout right, Spin?"  
  
"Fine wid me," Spin consented, relieved since she really couldn't think of what to say when put on the spot like that.  
  
Skittery shrugged. "So, why, if foh any reason would you break up wid me?"  
  
"Prolly only if I knew I was gettin' on youh noives or if ya cheated on me," Spin revealed.  
  
"All right, go have a seat." Quipster told her.  
  
Spin went to sit by Tunes who was on the end but thought better of it and sat a couple seats down.  
  
"So uhh...who's next?" Quipster yelled up.  
  
A rumpled Tapper came down the stairs trying to fix her lipstick that was smudged all over her face.  
  
"Wondah what she was doin'," Quipster commented, highly amused.  
  
Skittery looked a little surprised but brushed it off.  
  
"Soo heah comes Tappah," Quipster announced.  
  
Tapper was wearing a red dress that matched her hair and was a couple shades brighter than Tunes's and Spins wine colored dress. Her bright blue eyes were shining impishly, knowing she probably just shocked the crowd.  
  
"So, I have a question," Quipster decided. "What exactly IS goin' on up der?"  
  
"Well, lemme tell ya it was a lot moah fun aftah Spin left. Spot could put his energy inta things othah den fightin," Tapper told her.  
  
"Oh yeah? What kinda things?" Skittery asked, looking somewhat upset.  
  
"What do you think, Skittsy? She jest came in wipin' lipstick from her face."  
  
Skittery glared. "Shut up! Let's jest get ta da questions."  
  
"Go head den! Youh da one dat's askin' dem.," Quipster pointed out.  
  
"I will, den! Tappah, what would be youh ideal date?"  
  
"Dat's da stupidest question I evah hoid. You'he da guy, you'se supposed ta think up da dates!"  
  
"Ohhh shut down," Quipster told Skittery, laughing.  
  
Skittery looked slightly taken aback. "Uhh...all right...next question is how far wouldja go wid me on dis date?"  
  
"Depends on how much dis date a youhs didn't suck."  
  
"Shut down again! DAMN!" Quipster commented, becoming very proud of Tapper.  
  
Skittery looked very bewildered. "Umm...yeah...so...uh...Would you want a monogamous relationship?" he questioned, almost looking scared to ask her more questions.  
  
Tapper thought about it for a moment. "Yeah, unless I found someone I liked bettah."  
  
Quipster gave a little cough that sounded amazingly like Spot.  
  
"I really am scared ta ask dis one but If I made you really angry what would you do?"  
  
Tapper shrugged. "Prolly beat you in da face, den use somethin' I knew 'boutcha ta blackmail ya inta apologizing." She paused to smile evily. "An' if I didn't have any good blackmail, I'd make it up. You DON'T wanna make me angry."  
  
Quipster burst out laughing. "How da hell didja get in dis contest anyway?!"  
  
Tapper shrugged. "So I fucked him a couple times. It doesn't mean dat da sun rises an' sets on him."  
  
Quipster laughed even harder.  
  
Skittery grumbled a little before asking the next question. "Describe youh personality in five words or less."  
  
Tapper thought for a moment. "Sarcastic, dry-humored, proud, manipulative an uhh..outspoken"  
  
"Well, you wanted attitude, Skittsy," Quipster pointed out.  
  
Skittery rolled his eyes. "Not dis much," he thought. Out loud he said, "Why, if foh any reason, wouldja break up wid me."  
  
Tapped shrugged. "If you went an' got some goil pregnant, or somethin'...I dunno!"  
  
"You can sit ovah der," Quipster informed her, pointing to the other girls.  
  
"Kinda caught onta dat," Tapper responded sarcastically  
  
"Hey now, jest makin' shoah!" Quipster replied. "Save da attitude foh Skittery an' Spot."  
  
Tapper smirked and went to sit down by Tunes.  
  
"Dat goil is dangerous," Quipster stated. "How did you two evah hook up?"  
  
Skittery shrugged. "Jest one a dose times, ya know?"  
  
"Uh...no...an' I don't think I want to. I'll jest bring in da next goil. Uhh...Delaney c'mon down!" Quipster yelled up.  
  
Delaney walked down grinning at the crowds. She was amazingly well put together and her make-up remained intact.  
  
"Guess da infamous Spot Conlon charm don't work on some goils," Skittery commented, looking proud of her.  
  
Quipster rolled her eyes. "So...uh...dis is Delaney," Quipster told the crowd. Delaney glided down the stairs wearing a pale blue dress. Her curly blonde-red hair was left down and framed her pale, freckled face perfectly. Her blue eyes shined brightly with the help of the blue dress to accentuate them.  
  
Delaney walked up grinning nicely.  
  
Skittery, worried what would happen next after Tapper, asked somewhat tentatively, "What would youh ideal date be?"  
  
Delaney thought for a moment. "Well, we would go out ta a nice restaurant, you know, anythin' but Tibby's. Den to Medda's maybe.  
  
Skittery sighed.  
  
"Hmm...a nice change! Not...'let's go hop inta bed!" Quipster pointed out.  
  
"How far wouldja go wid me on dis date?" Skittery queried.  
  
Delaney thought about this seriously. "Well, heavy kissin', I guess. An'...maybe a little bit moah."  
  
"YES!!" Quipster exclaimed. "FINALLY! I was wonderin' if der was anyone in me house dat wasn't a whore."  
  
Delaney looked surprised by Quipster's reaction but smiled at being considered unique from the others for something.  
  
"So, uh, wouldja want a monogamous relationship?" Skittery asked.  
  
"Um...yeah..." Delaney stated, as if obvious.  
  
Skittery looked a little disappointed. "If I made you really angry what would you do?" he inquired.  
  
"I'd break up wid you," she told him, "Foh 'bout five minutes," she added, giggling.  
  
"Way to be stong," Quipster commented, sarcastically. "I think everyone should jest follow Tappah's example an' kick his ass."  
  
Skittery glared. "Not everyone are as big a bitch as you, doh."  
  
"Shame...da world would be a bettah place." Quipster decided.  
  
"Yeah, doubtful. Delaney can ya explain youh personality in five words or less, please?"  
  
"Hmm. happy, easy-goin', hard ta annoy," Delaney stated.  
  
"Dis one's a keepah. not a whore, hard ta annoy AN' she can count," Quipster told him. "Bettah den da othahs." Then with a quick glance at Tunes she added, "Except Tunes a course."  
  
Skittery looked at her oddly. "Do ya mind not makin' decisions foh me ya wanna-be judge."  
  
Quipster sulked. "Jest cause I don't got a penis doesn't mean I can't be a judge," she grumbled.  
  
Skittery rolled his eyes. "Delaney, last question. Why if foh any reason wouldja break up wid me?"  
  
"If you cheated on me," Delaney said firmly.  
  
"What? Is dat da only reason? What if he...beat you...or murdered youh friends or dressed in drag or..." Quipster started to ramble.  
  
Skittery looked at her oddly. "What are you doin'?!"  
  
"Pointin' out othah reasons why she would break up wid you."  
  
Delaney nodded. "I'd prolly break up wid him foh dose reasons too."  
  
Quipster looked proud of herself. "See!" she exclaimed.  
  
"See what?! I'm nevah gunna do any a dat stuff."  
  
"Dat doesn't mattah," Quipster decided.  
  
"But...you...YOU MAKE NO SENSE!" Skittery yelled at her.  
  
"Well...you...ARE DUMB!" Quipster yelled back.  
  
Racetrack stood up in the crowd. "SEE! I tol' you guy! He's glum an' dumb!"  
  
Quipster looked at Racetrack oddly. "Could da cute boy in da plaid pants PLEASE sit down?"  
  
Now it was Racetrack's turn to look at Quipster oddly. "Uh...Quip.ya know me name. Why don'tcha jest say Racetrack?"  
  
"'Cause it's moah fun ta say da cute boy in da plaid pants...shut up!" Quipster ordered.  
  
"Kay...last one foh questions," Quispter told Skittery. "C'mon down Hart!"  
  
Hart walked down the stairs with Spot following closely behind him, having nothing to do upstairs anymore. Hart's short curly brown hair was pinned away from her face. Her gold eyes were brought out by the bright green dress she wore. She walked with a small smile on her face that bordered on a smirk and exuded confidence.  
  
"Skittey...questions..you...answah," Quipster told her shortly, getting very bored with her job and wishing it would all just be over.  
  
Skittery sighed, somewhat tired of asking the same questions over and over and glad this was the last interview. "So, what's youh ideal date wid me?"  
  
Hart smiled at him. "Well, if I'm wid you it's already ideal. But, it'd hafta be foh a long time cause it's not easy gettin' enough of ya...and somewheah...alone. Get what I mean, Skit?"  
  
Quipster laughed. "Since he's been gettin' invitations foh sex all day I'm thinkin' he does," she informed Hart.  
  
Hart looked a little disappointed that hers wasn't the first. She continued with her answer. "Somethin' dat don't cost a lotta dough cause you ain't gotta do all dat foh me."  
  
Skittery nodded. "How far would you wid me on dis date?"  
  
"To da moon an' back. I'll pay foh da trolley," Hart told him.  
  
Quipster laughed again. "He's not talkin' 'bout distance, hun."  
  
Hart thought about it for a moment. "Ohh...anywheah an' everywheah you want," she told him, smiling suggestively.  
  
"Well, wouldja want a monogomous relationship?" Skittery queried.  
  
"Monoga-who? Um.no? No sounds safe." she told him.  
  
Quipster sat laughing hysterically. "Dis is great."  
  
"If I made you really angry what would you do?" Skittery inquired.  
  
"I dunno, y'ain't nevah done it. But I supposed I'd jest be mad foh a little bit, den think about it an' realize dat it was prolly my fault. I might argue witcha jest cause it's fun, but, I'd ovah it quick like."  
  
Quipster guffawed. "Prolly youh fault? It's prolly Satan's fault...I mean uhh not Satan," she corrected with a quick look at Skittery. "I meant Skittsy's fault.a course."  
  
Skittery glared at her. "You are really gettin' on me noives."  
  
"Well...if it helps you could pretend I'm jest bein' mean 'cause I have a secret crush on you?" Quipster offered.  
  
Skittery looked stunned. "Is dat da reason?"  
  
Quipster burst out into laughter. "Me? Like you? Oh my gawd no."  
  
Skittery rolled his eyes. "Gettin' back ta da questions. Hart, explain youh personality in five words or less."  
  
Hart listed off very confidently, "Snappy, crazy smart...alecky.tough, rebellious."  
  
"Yet again anothah goil dat can't count. Yes, I caught dat sneakin' in anothah word. Sheesh we'se gunna get a teachah foh da lodgin' house or somethin!"  
  
Hart smiled sheepishly.  
  
"Get ovah it, Quip. So, why, if foh any reason, wouldja break up wid me?"  
  
"Ksh...weirdo. I don't think dat I'd wanna do dat. Evah. You'he too sexy!"  
  
Quipster rolled her eyes. "Can't count an' blind."  
  
Skittery glared at Quipster.  
  
Quipster flashed a bright smile. "No offense, Skittsy. Anyway, thus ends da question an' answah portion!.Now what guys?"  
  
"I think we'se gotta go talk 'bout it now," Itey told her. "Right guys?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan," Specs agreed.  
  
"Yeah, lets," Skittery complied.  
  
"Woohoo moah talkin'," Quipster commented sarcastically starting to follow Skittery.  
  
"What're you doin'?" Specs asked her.  
  
"Uhh...I thought you jest said we were gunna talk," Quipster said.  
  
"No...we...meanin' da guys," Specs informed her. "Dis isn't really a talk foh goil's ears."  
  
"But...but...NO FAIR!" Quipster protested, angrily.  
  
"Well, dat's da way it is. Maybe you can.help da goils get dressed foh da talent part or somethin'." Skittery suggested.  
  
"I don't wanna play dress up!! Itey?" she asked.  
  
"Sorry, Quip," Itey told her, shrugging.  
  
"Dis is jest like back when I was little!! Nevah was I allowed ta play wid da boys...oh no it was all 'go play wid youh dolls'. I DONT LIKE DOLLS!!" Quipster complained.  
  
All three boys looked at her oddly. "Are you done?" Specs asked.  
  
Quipster thought for a second. "Yeah...you guys are still mean doh! I'll jest go gossip 'bout you wid da goils...an' tell dem how bad you are in bed an' stuff."  
  
"But.you've nevah slept wid any of us," Itey pointed out.  
  
"Dey don't know dat," Quipster pointed out, smirking.  
  
"But, dey's all slept wid me 'cept Delaney," Skittery reminded her.  
  
"I can be very convincing," Quipster informed him, confidently. "Now scampah off an' talk 'bout dey're chests an' whatevah else youh plannin' on talkin' 'bout."  
  
The boys shrugged and walked off.  
  
Quipster, still very perturbed that she wasn't included in the talk, stomped upstairs. 


	5. Talent PortionProblem Solved

"Okay, hurry up get into costume," Quipster commanded. "You all have ten minutes to be ready for the talent portion.  
  
The girls rushed around the room hurrying to fix their hair and fix their clothes.  
  
"HEY!" Act yelled. "I can't find me clothes!"  
  
"Me neithah!" Spin called out, searching her pile of things.  
  
Tunes threw some of her things around before declaring, "Mine are gone too!"  
  
Quipster sighed exasperatedly. "Dis bettah not be Spot's doin'," she muttered to herself. "How 'bout you goils?" she questioned the other contestants.  
  
"I'm not changin' so it wouldn't mattah," Hart informed her.  
  
"Yep, I'm jest stayin' in dese clothes," Delaney agreed.  
  
"You goils, too?" Quipster queried, directing her question at Tapper, Princess and Pisky. All three explained that they weren't changing so they had no clothes to be stolen.  
  
Quipster groaned. "Gawd damnit now what?" she asked the three girls that were missing their costumes.  
  
"I can't do it in dis dress!" Spin complained. "Da stuff I'm doin' wont work if I'm wearin' dis dress!"  
  
"Me neithah," Act agreed.  
  
Quipster thought for a moment. "Hang on den," she commanded. "Get everythin' else ready like...I dunno...whatevah you do ta get ready!" She hurried out of the room.  
  
Everyone began to get ready. Act and Spin looked extremely worried and angry but they also went about getting ready for the contest. Tunes didn't look worried in the slightest, however, and in fact had a smug expression as she went about doing her makeup and fixing her hair.  
  
Quipster returned moments later with her arms full of boys clothing.  
  
"There!" she exclaimed dropping it all on the floor. There were dozens of pairs of pants and shirts and hats...everything a boy would need to dress.  
  
"What didja go an' do now, Quip?" Tunes inquired.  
  
Quipster shrugged. "Da boys won't notice..."  
  
"You stole der clothes?" Act asked, incredulous.  
  
Quipster smirked. "Stole is such a harsh world...borrowed wid out askin' is moah what we're doin'...'sides da boys'll figuah it out when you go out wearin' der clothes. I don't know what you were plannin' foh an' outfit but you three are gunna hafta make do wid all dis."  
  
Spin and Act shrugged and started digging through the boys clothes for a costume. Tunes didn't even look down and continued touching up her make up.  
  
"Tunes...ya know you gotta go down der in like five mintues an' do youh routine. I'd suggest findin' some clothes 'less youh plannin' on goin' down der naked," Princess told her, noticing her lack of a costume.  
  
Tunes shrugged with an amused expression and began pulling off her clothes.  
  
"She was jokin'..." Tapper told her, looking at her oddly.  
  
"I'm not goin' out naked," Tunes assured her, still pulling off her clothes.  
  
"What're you doin' den?" Princess inquired.  
  
"Wearin' dis," Tunes told her when she had at last stripped down to the slinky slip under her dress.  
  
Quipster rolled her eyes. "Do I hafta say it?"  
  
The other girls laughed. "I'll say it!" Tapper offered. She pointed at Tunes. "WHORE!"  
  
"Nice dat you goils are catchin' on..." Quipster commented. "Seriously, Tunes, what're you really gunna wear?"  
  
"I'm already wearin' it...I doubt dat I'll have any complaints..." Tunes decided.  
  
Quipster sighed. "All right...I guess I can't stop ya."  
  
"Fine, den, I'm jest goin' out naked," Spin decided, not to be outdone.  
  
"EW! Youh brothah is out der," Delaney pointed out.  
  
"But...but I wanna wear somethin' revealing!" Spin complained.  
  
"What if ya jest wore somethin' somewhat whorish?" Quipster suggested. "If ya unbuttoned dat shirt farthah down an' cut if up an' you can wear shorts."  
  
Spin nodded and began ripping at the light blue shirt until it was 'revealing' enough for her.  
  
"Okay, everyone sufficiently whorish now?" Quipster questioned dryly.  
  
The girls all nodded, excited to get down and show off their 'skills'.  
  
"All right, c'mon goils," Quipster demanded, leading them all down the stairs. The girls followed behind closely, all hoping to be the first.  
  
The crowd was needless to say mostly shocked by Tunes outfit, yet again. Then, after their initial shock subsided they were once again surprised by Spin's torn top.  
  
"Sit," Quipster ordered, pointing to the chairs that were reserved for the contestant. "I'll go get da boys."  
  
She held true to her word and returned only moments later with Skittery, Specs and Itey who she was glaring quite obviously at. Evidently Quipster had not gotten over being excluded because of her sex.  
  
The boys sat at their table again, with pencils and paper in hand. "Go head, Quip," Itey allowed, once they were situated.  
  
"Of cohse youh majesty," Quipster agreed the sarcasm heavy in her voice.  
  
Itey rolled his eyes but didn't reply. He was used to Quipster's moods by now and knew it was best to let them pass without arguing with her.  
  
Quipster shrugged when he didn't respond. "Okay, Tunes how 'bout you come up an' tell us what you'he gunna be doin' an' why youh dressed even worse den a common street whore would dress."  
  
Tunes glared at Quipster slightly before walking to the middle of the stage. "Well, I am dressed da way I am.'cause I'se was missin' me costume so I figuahed insteada wearin' da clothes Quip stole from da guy I'd jest wear somethin' a me own."  
  
A chorus of "HEY OUR CLOTHES!" let out from the crowd.  
  
Quipster grinned at the crowd. "Well dey needed somethin' ta wear! Dey couldn't come out wid nothin' on!"  
  
"Why not?" came a male voice from the crowd.  
  
"Because, Swifty, one of dem was Spot's sistah an' dat's jest wrong an' plus stop bein' dirty!" Quipster commanded.  
  
"Eww bad pictures in me head!" Spot called out, at the mental picture of his sister being naked.  
  
"See, look what you did Swifty. It's not like you aren't all gunna get youh clothes back...'cept foh whoevah owns dat blue shoit dat Spin is wearin'."  
  
"Hey! Dat's mine!" Snipeshooter complained.  
  
"Tough shit, kid. Can we continue the contest now?" Quipster questioned, somewhat upset.  
  
Snipshooter, Swifty and Spot sat down grumbling to themselves over their issues.  
  
"As I was sayin'," Tunes continued. "I decided ta wear me own clothes an' didn't think anyone would complain 'cept Quipstah."  
  
"Hey, Tappah is da one dat called ya a whore." Quipster reminded her.  
  
"Damn straight!" Tapper put in.  
  
Tunes smirked to herself a little, not really caring what any of them thought of her. "So, foh me talent I have made me own little song ta sing an' dance to. Quip, da record please?"  
  
Quipster nodded and turned on the record player. (Note before we get started now: All the talents were given to me. So, if people look very strange or whorish for 1899 it's their own choice. While I'm giving notes, this song was written by Tunes and given to me as was the routine she put into it. The song goes to the tune of KONY)  
  
Tunes cleared her throat and smiled before beginning. She walked over and sat on Skittery's lap, surprising everyone all the more, before starting to sing. "Pink underpants are what you're wearin'." She unbuttoned a couple buttons and she sang. "When you're takin' 'em off can't help but starin'," she continued, hopping off his lap. "Goin' at it in bed I never fake it." She walked on stage and did a cartwheel. "On top of all that you look good naked! Look at me dancin' and singin' for you!" Tunes broke off in her song to complete a back tuck. "Look at that, just did a back tuck," she resumed walking down the table. "And I'm a great fuck," she added, smirking at Itey who was nodding vigorously. "Sleepin' with all the rest of my friends, go out with me that don't have to end. Can you believe?" she questioned in song, throwing her leg of Specs and straddling him. "I've done your friends too!" she confessed, kissing Specs on the cheek, causing him to smile smugly and blush slightly. Tunes ran back onto the stage. "They're not quite like you. You're the one that I want!" She announced before doing a back handspring into the splits and blew a kiss in the direction of Skittery.  
  
The room began clapping enthusiastically, perhaps Specs and Itey loudest of all remembering their good times with her.  
  
Tunes stood up and took a bow.  
  
Quipster came onto stage clapping politely. "Congratulations you jest came off as a complete whore," Quipster told her laughing.  
  
Tunes smirked confidently. "Maybe, but I think dat did da trick," she told her, cocking her head to the side to point out Skittery, Specs and Itey who seemed to be responding very positively to her performance.  
  
"The things goils do foh a good fuck," Quipster said, shaking her head. "You can go sit down wheah you were befoah."  
  
Tunes nodded and walked to her seat, quite aware of everyone staring at her.  
  
Quipster shook her head in disbelief before calling up the next contestant. "Soo. next goil is.Pisky!"  
  
Pisky walked onto the stage looking slightly bewildered because of Tunes' 'show'.  
  
"So, what're you gunna do foh us, Pisky?" Quipster inquired.  
  
"Well, when I was youngah I could stick my entiah fist in me mouth an' evah since den I'se been tryin' ta stick biggah, bettah, tastiah things in me mouth," she announced, smirking at Skittery as she finished. "So, I'se decided dat...right heah...in fronta da ENTIAH crowd I'm gunna suck on..." she paused slightly for effect before finishing, "thirty five grapes. That's right I'm gunna fit thoity five grapes in me mouth."  
  
Quipster burst out laughing. "Grapes...yeah I'm shoah dat's what you wanna be suckin' on."  
  
Pisky giggled. "Well, I'll take da grapes an' hope foh bettah things aftah da contest," she confided.  
  
Quipster shook her head once again, astounded at the lengths the girls would go to for Skittery. "On dat incredibly slutty note let's bring out da grapes!"  
  
Swifty came skipping onto the stage with a bowl full of grapes.  
  
Pisky gave a brave smile before attempting to conquer the bowl of grapes. She began to push grape after grape into her mouth leaving the crowd to keep count for her. Unfortunately, this wasn't the smartest thing to do because she ended up shoving in 42 grapes before she realized that the newsies masses were not exactly geniuses when it came to large numbers...that or they wanted to see how many they could trick her into shoving in.  
  
Taking pity on Pisky, (who was turning a little greenish at the thought of forcing one more grape in her mouth) Quipster finally rolled her eyes and said, "Uhh Pisky youh pushin' 45 now.ya might wanna stop."  
  
Pisky nodded emphatically before getting a panicked look and running for the bathroom.  
  
Quipster looked slightly disgusted before continuing her commentary. "Well, since we don't really wanna even think bout what Pisky just ran off ta do, I'll jest call da next contestant up right away. Lemme...see....it's.Princess!"  
  
Princess walked up on stage looking slightly uncomfortable.  
  
"Soo...Princess dose were some tough acts ta follow...what do you got foh us?" Quipster asked.  
  
Princess shrugged. "Well, actually I nevah really thought 'bout it 'til now...uhh I guess I could...nah...well or I could...nah don't wanna do dat eithah."  
  
Princess continued her pensive monologue a few more moments before shrugging. "Eh what da hell I'll do somethin' diffahent an' not be a whore!"  
  
Quipster almost fell over. "That is definitley somethin' new in dis contest. So whatcha gunna do?"  
  
"I will.recite all fifty states...even doh der aren't fifty states yet...I will recite all fifty 'cause I'm psychic...an' I'll do it in one breath!"  
  
"Wow...psychic an' good wid trivial facts an' breath control," Quipster commented.  
  
"Good...I'm so tired a it bein' da mans job!" Skittery declared.  
  
Quipster threw him a disgusted look. "I said breath control not birth control! Damnit Skittery how da hell didja manage ta get so many goils ta like ya?!"  
  
Skittery blushed a little. "Jest get on wid da contest."  
  
"Gladly...soo go foh it Princess," Quipster encouraged.  
  
Princess took a deep breath and began listing states. (Yeah...not gunna list them all...pretend I did.) When she was done she looked very proud of herself...though a little bluish. Needless to say she took a deep breath after completing the task.  
  
Quipster nodded in approval before pointing Princess back toward her chair.  
  
"So, now time foh da next contestant I guess.any volunteers?" Not pausing for an answer, Quipster continued, "Oh, okay den Tappah can be next!"  
  
Tapper looked at Quipster strangely before shrugging and walking onstage.  
  
"So, whatcha got planned foh us?"  
  
"Well...since me name is Tappah I figuahed I'd tap dance. Cept I wanted ta put an interestin' spin on it soo I'se gunna do a little tap strip tease."  
  
Quipster rolled her eyes. "Shoah why not," she commented walking off, shaking her head disbelievingly.  
  
Tapper did a little dance in which she gradually took all her clothes off but before becoming completely naked stopped and took a bow.  
  
Many complaints errupted from the crowd. "Hey, what da hell!" "Don't stop now!!" "We'se jest gettin' ta da good stuff"  
  
Tapper rolled her eyes and picked up all her clothes, walking to the bathroom to reassemble her ensemble.  
  
Quipster walked back on stage to quiet the masses tactfully. "Hey, shut da hell up all of you'se or we'll finish da contest in private, all right?!"  
  
There was much grumbling heard after that but in general the group became subdued and the contest was allowed to continue.  
  
Quipster grinned in triumph. "Yes, that's what I thought! Let me see...who shall be next? I think that...Hart should be next!"  
  
Hart walked up on the stage looking very confident.  
  
"I sweah if you dance or hit on Skittery at any point in this talent I might jest go crazy," Quipster muttered to her.  
  
"Well, den relax. My talent is impressions! I'se love makin' fun a people." Hart informed her.  
  
"Now dat is somethin' I can deal wid! Impress on...well you know what I mean...yeah...jest do youh talent."  
  
Hart looked around the room, searching for her next victim. Suddenly seeing someone in the crowd she grinned. "All right, who am I?" she asked. Then, she said to an imaginary girl on stage, "Hey baby, how 'bout I take you places you've nevah seen befoah? I'm da big bad leadah dat sneaks inta goils dressin' rooms." Then she pretended to be slapped in the face by the imaginary girl. "Fine, guess youh inta goils den!"  
  
Quipster burst out laughed. She pointed at Hart and stated, "SPOT!"  
  
Spot stood up angrily. "Dat ain't how I act!"  
  
Hart rose her eyebrows but didn't say anything else to him.  
  
"I'll show you!" Spot threatened, walking toward the stage.  
  
"HEY! Could the audience members REMAIN IN THE AUDIENCE!?" Quipster yelled at him.  
  
Spot paused before turning around and stomping back to his seat muttering about how Hart was just jealous of him.  
  
Hart laughed and started getting ready for her next impression before she could Quipster said, "Umm...that might be enough though...we don't want to alienate our entire audience."  
  
Hart returned to her seat looking somewhat disappointed.  
  
Spot glared at her from his seat and pointed at her, mouthing "I'll get you!"  
  
Hart laughed and shook her head, returning her attentions to the stage.  
  
"Hmm...who shall we get to go next? Let me think...well we could go da whole nine yards in annoyin' Conlan and bring up his sistah? Ah, good plan Quipstah."  
  
"Uhh...Quip...didja jest talk ta youhself?" Itey asked.  
  
"Silence you mean, horrible, person dat leaves people out jest cause a dey're sex," Quipster snapped at Itey.  
  
"But..." Itey started.  
  
"No, shh, who's runnin' dis pageant?!" Quipster asked  
  
"Well, you are I guess..." Itey responded.  
  
"Yeah, dat's what I thought. Wait...hmm...I am runnin' da show aren't I?" Quipster got a mischievous look on her face and grinned evilly. "Go head Spin an' do youh talent."  
  
Quipster walked off the stage to think through the plan developing in her head as Spin walked up.  
  
"I am gunna do a tumblin' act," Spin told everyone. She launched into a flawless act, which included no falls whatsoever. (Sorry, can't go much into detail since I'd have no fucking clue what I was talking about) She ended with a grand finale which was: Roundoff, backhand spring, backtuck step-out, layout step out, round off step out, full twisting layout into a middle split.  
  
Everyone clapped enthusiastically for her, except for Spot who was busy glaring at Hart and thinking up plots to obtain vengeance. Not that he would have clapped for her anyway since he more or less hated Spin, but that is beside the point.  
  
Quipster, not noticing that Spin had finished and was sitting, continued to sit on a chair beside the stage deep in thought. After a few moments of muttering to herself she cackled evilly. "I'll show them!" she said.  
  
"Hey, Quip," Tunes said,  
  
"Huh?" Quipster asked, not really paying attention,  
  
"Umm...foist of all...we can heah you...an' second Spin's sittin'. Can we get dis done wid?"  
  
"Oh...yes...get this done with you say? I'll get dis done, all right! The contest is...OVER!" Quipster broke into a loud, evil laugh.  
  
Everyone just sat there, looking at her oddly.  
  
"Hey, didn'tcha heah me? GET OUT!" Quipster yelled at everyone.  
  
"Hey. Quipstah, hate ta tell ya but 1) You can't jest call off da contest an' 2) Why da hell wouldja want ta der's only one moah act!"  
  
"Well, too fuckin' bad! It's off because YOU wouldn't let me judge an...an...an' EVERYONE'S MEAN TO ME!" Quipster burst out crying.  
  
"Oh, well, doesn't mattah if it's ovah anyway, I already made me choice."  
  
"WHAT?!" Delaney asked, standing up. "That's NO fair! I made a fuckin' talent an' YOUH gunna watch it!"  
  
"Hey, Delaney," Specs interjected. "Ya lost da minute ya didn't act like a whore and say you wanted ta sleep wid him."  
  
"No...but my act might help!!" Delaney persisted.  
  
"No...but it won't," Specs assured her.  
  
Delaney continued arguing with Specs over if she could perform.  
  
Spot, seeing people's attentions were attracted by Delaney, took the moment to strike. He launched himself at Hart and began pulling her hair and trying to beat her up.  
  
Hart screamed in surprise before fighting back.  
  
Snipeshooter, still miffed about Spin stealing his shirt, ran at her screaming "DATS MY SHIRT!!"  
  
Racetrack ran to defend Spin yelling, "You lousy cigar stealah get back heah!"  
  
Quipster laughed evilly in the corner watching as chaos exploded. "Dis'll show dem!"  
  
Skittery sat and watched everything going on before calmly walking over to where the contestants were. "Well, I guess it don't mattah now but Tunes youh da winnah."  
  
"I am?" Tunes asked. She had been expecting him to pick someone else and then cheat on that girl with her.  
  
"Yeah...a course it ain't so great winnin' like dis," Skittery said, pointing at the large fight going on in the room that almost everyone was included in by now.  
  
"Well, whaddya say we get outta heah an' I show ya some othah moves dat I got...not exactly dance moves but I think you'll like dem."  
  
Skittery grinned. "I think dats a good idea."  
  
Skittery and Tunes started to walk out of the room, talking and smiling.  
  
"NOOO" Quipster yelled, seeing them leaving happily. "It's all been in vain!"  
  
"But, no it hasn't," Itey, who had randomly shown up at her side since he was her sidekick, pointed out.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, ya got Skittery ta pick a goil to stop da fightin'."  
  
"Look 'round Itey! EVERYONE's fightin' now!"  
  
"Yeah, but...it's not cause of Skittery anymoah."  
  
"Good point...wanna get outta heah? Maybe we can depants some people or...steal candy from children or somethin'."  
  
"Yeah, let's not be part a dis fight," Itey agreed.  
  
Quipster and Itey then skipped off leaving the rest of the newsies fighting.  
  
The problem had been solved and the contest was over for Skittery had found his girl and everyone felt very proud of what they had accomplished. 


End file.
